"Everyone ready?" Jen Goush asked the six teams that had been assigned to an SCO easy-going mission where they simply had to provide distractions for an extraction team. That was easy enough considering they could be as wacky as they wanted. The whole deal was going down at the Baltimore-Washington International Airport. "Alright," She said "Let's do this."
Several GNGs were controlling the speakers so that the teams could play their own theme song with each round. The first song was "Dig It Up" by the D-Tent Boys. Four of the six teams were dressed in dirty, grungy work uniforms, complete with shovels, and they marched to the song, singing and "digging" as they went. Security officers approached them several times, but no one paid any attention. At the end of the song, they simply disappeared into the hallways. Security could not find them, but the silence only lasted a few minutes. The next song was "One Way or Another" by Blondie.

One SCO agent, a short mischievous fellow, snuck up to an HS agent that was talking on his cell phone to his boss. The SCO agent grabbed the HS agent's phone, then took off running. Needless to say, the stunned HS agent was NOT happy. A pursuit ensued, accompanied by chaos. The HS agent ran by two cops who had started chasing a crazed "homeless man" who was screaming "They're MY bananas! You can't have any--they're MINE!" and clutching one of the cops' hats. The second cop smashed into an Army National Guardsman who was chasing a man with dreadlocks. Both men went sprawling to the floor, tangled up. The HS agent ran around the corner after the cell phone thief, only to come running back in freight, and being chased by a giant purple people eater that was carrying a saxophone. He chased the cop who was still chasing the homeless man, who was still shouting about his bananas. He jumped a suitcase, the cop tripped, and the HS agent started chasing the purple people eater who danced by a group of Army National Guardsman that had just arrived to provide back up. Two US Air Marshals raced by, one tripping over a suitcase and hopping, both trying to catch the man in dreadlocks who was holding suitcase. The dreadlocks guy disappeared around the corner and the Air Marshals smashed into the purple people eater, who grabbed them in a giant bear hug.
The Army National Guardsman were attempting to help, but were stalled by an "old lady" who was beating one soldier over the head and back with her cane because she thought they were trying to steal her purse. It took two other soldiers to pry her off him, but she caught them by surprise when she kicked one of them in the solar plexus and karate-chopped the other one. She then tossed her cane up in the air and gunned the engine on a motorized wheelchair, leading several more soldiers on a wild chase as she headed down one of the corridors, past three police officers and a group of US Marines that were flying out.
The cops ran by in opposite directions, both chasing what they thought was the same homeless man who was actually preparing for Round Three. The suspects managed to disappear as the song ended, but silence only lasted seven minutes.

A startled cry sounded somewhere down the hallway as a US ANG soldier's German Shepherd suddenly lurched forward. "Oh sh--" He said as the dog proceeded to drag him down an escalator. The leash snapped partway down and the dog raced through frightened crowds. One woman threw her suitcase up in the air and jumped in to the arms of a startled stranger.
That's when the song came over the intercom. "Who Let The Dogs Out" by Baha Men blasted as 287 dogs, 217 cats, 23 hamsters, 21 snakes 13 tarantulas, and 11 birds got loose. The horde moved in separated directions, some for the security checkpoints and some towards the US ANG backup unit that just arrived to help Their eyes widened in horror as they saw the stampede.
The soldier who had gotten dragged down the escalator was just getting up when he saw the mass of pets racing towards him "Oh sh--" he cursed again as two Great Danes leaped on top him, knocking him down again and licking his face.
Two states' worth of Animal Control arrived to take care of the situation, but it took several hours to control the herd. Two Cane Corsos chased three Army National Guardsmen and tackled a forth. Several reporters had climbed to a high place to safely record what was happening, only to abandon their camera to the clutches of a hungry boa constrictor. A cat landed in someone's spaghetti, only to hightail it when a sheepdog jumped onto the table. A woman screamed when she found a corral snake slithering away with her purse.
By the end of three hours, Animal Control had corralled the vast majority of animals, save for the occasional hamster found in a sink or the mouse eating someone's hamburger.
It took security another six hours to calm everyone down and to clean up.

Bystanders stifled laughs when an HS agent walked by, covered in feathers; and laughed when two Army National Guardsmen sauntered by covered in dog drool. Since none of the suspects had been caught, security forces had shut down the airport, do a sweep for any remnants, and check for any possible security threats.
Homeland Security agent Robert Guiles swears he is never touching another chicken again.